Happy Father's Day from the Co-Founder of World Vasectomy Day

Today is Father’s Day and compelled to honesty, a lovely by product of my recent heart attack,

I decided to share some intimate thoughts…which reminds me, thank you to each of you who

wrote such beautiful and kind notes.

For those who don’t know me, as well as founding World Vasectomy Day, I have six children

which I guess means that I didn’t create WVD just to help others! And to make matters even

more complicated, three children are from three different mothers and three are step-children

from my current partner which, needless to say, makes Father’s Day a logistical nightmare. So

today, with my youngest son on another continent, my daughter on a wilderness trip, my oldest

son not calling me and my three step-children out and about, I am feeling unusually at peace.

In truth, in the last three weeks ago, I’ve taken time to smell the roses; to be more present,

more conscious and to begin making wiser choices. It’s been good and necessary.

The fact is, I’ve been running around like a chicken without my head my entire life which I

also happen to love. I love the thrill of an adventure, a huge challenge., the journey to the

unknown, the wisdom that comes from intense experiences. I wouldn’t have launched

World Vasectomy Day otherwise.

And yes, there are also those days, or even parts of days during which just being alive is

tough and knowing how blessed I am, just makes it worse. I ride the wave as best I can, but

it still hurts. During the darkness, there are more times than I like to acknowledge when I

act fearfully and even hurt others. Yet despite, the errors of my ways, errors I never stop

trying to correct, I think I am a better person for my own brand of madness, and I hope, the

world is a slightly better place for it as well.

Now, post heart attack, I’m realizing that although time itself is infinite, my ‘time’ to

experience it, is most definitely not. That’s how it is for all of us. The good news, at least for

me is, I’m not just at peace with this fact, I am also in love with it. Frankly, there’s nothing

like a deadline to motivate smarter questions and maybe, wiser answers.

Like, what do I do with my allotted time? Or how do I make my remaining life as meaningful

and purposeful as possible? Or indeed, what defines a fulfilling life? And what is the truth of

who I am and the truth of what I am meant to be doing?

As part of this reflection, I am thinking a lot about the future of World Vasectomy Day. It’s

hard work to build a movement and doing it with almost no money very stressful. I’ve had a

vasectomy, which is good, but raising money, never my strength goes badly. Naturally, it

makes me wonder if anyone really cares?

Then there are the personal reasons for questioning my role as head of WVD. Our logo says,

‘celebrating responsible men’ but the truth is I’m a father because I was irresponsible. Does

it matter that I’m less the natural leader of this positive ‘movement’ than a poster-child for

why it’s so desperately needed? Or is it as simple as the universe not only expanding in size,

but in humor as well? I don’t have the answer so I just keep going.

Through it all, I am strengthened by the imperfect love I hold for my almost perfect children,

which since I don’t have a faith in a God or adherence to a religion, is about as much

certainty as I’m likely to get. They say they love me too, sometimes even when I’m not

saying yes to something they’re asking for, which helps a lot.

The bottom line is I believe that every one of my children and every child, regardless of how

she or he was brought into this world, deserves to be here and our job as parents, as friends,

as mentors and role models, is to help raise them as best we can, while handing the world

off to them in good enough shape so they can raise their children as best they can too.

That’s why I don’t give up on WVD. It’s an amazing event that doesn’t just talk about

making things better, it actually inspires people to action.

On this Father’s Day I am mindful of what is magnificent about life, motivated to honor this

gift and reminded to be generous with it as well. Below is my latest list of ten reasons to

keep WVD alive. Add others as you see fit!

1. I support World Vasectomy Day because for men whose families are complete, a vasectomy gives us

power to control our own fertility.

2. I support World Vasectomy Day because it is right that men share responsibility for family planning.

3. I support World Vasectomy Day because a vasectomy is less invasive than tubal ligation and safer

than taking hormones or chemicals.

4. I support World Vasectomy Day, not to deny the joy of parenthood, but to increase the quality of life

for those who are already alive.

5. I support World Vasectomy Day for the sake of our children’s future.

6. I support World Vasectomy Day because eliminating the fear of unintended pregnancy improves sex.

7. I support World Vasectomy Day because human life depends on respect for and protection of all life.

8. I support World Vasectomy Day to inspire participation in the most important conversation of our

life.

9. I support World Vasectomy Day to help make quality vasectomies available worldwide.

10. I support World Vasectomy Day because it’s the right thing to do.